What Put Your Lights Out?

Rekindling Connection With The Voice Of Your 'Inner Child'

Photo by Angeline 1 Pixabay
Photo by Angeline on Pixabay

As a mammal you were born with the innate knowledge of how to sit at the edge of experience, balancing fear and the hunger for adventure simultaneously. We needed our Elders to encourage us to do this and to show us how to to maintain and nurture this powerful life serving capacity, holding us with a warming protective boundary whilst we did so. Within that holding space it becomes possible for us to find our own shape in the world.


But that didn't happen for most of us. Instead perhaps there were times when it was necessary for you to dim your light in order to keep safe and for fear of being cast out into unbelonging.


These younger parts of you won't let go though. They are part of your life's essence , they long for expression whilst also letting you know they are afraid. They keep tugging on our sleeve and checking in with you. They ask questions like 'Are we safe right now?', 'Is that person ok to be around?', 'Is it safe to come out and play?'.


It's really that simple only they don't show up with this pure needs consciousness language. Their voice shows up with the binary language that was laid down with all your protective layers in the form of core beliefs; 'I'm not good enough', 'No one loves me' 'I'm not safe' 'I've done something wrong'. These thoughts are often labeled as unwanted and intrusive, something to overcome and to 'let go' of. In fact they come with intrinsic life giving energy when held with compassionate understanding. They long to be understood as a young child who might find rest in the arms of a calm Elder having scraped their knee or burst their balloon. They just want to know if you understand that they are longing for safety, protection, self-expression, play, a chance to contribute, to belong.


Below is an example of the translation process, catching the 'intrusive thought' (aka life force), noticing the feelings and sensations that arrive with it, slowing down to bring a warm unhurried welcome to all the aliveness and bringing curiosity around what you might be needing/longing for in this present moment:




And so, like any parent you are invited to an initiation. To become the Elder you never had. To now hold that warming loving compassionate container for the arrival and growth of the parts of you that have not known love. To give them spaciousness to sit at the edge of experience in order to enter their aliveness.


If what I shared here resonates with you, I will be holding a four week programme titled 'Responding To The Voice Of The Inner Child - Compassionately Reclaiming Our Wildness' on Tuesdays in February 2022.



Perhaps you would like to join my mailing list to get updates about it (and receive for free my recorded self-compassion practice as a bonus!).



Clare O'Sullivan

Self-Compassion Teacher & Coach



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