The label, judgement and put-down that is 'SELF PITY' is perhaps one of the most violent destructive and debilitating phrases to arrive into our language. We have to stop doing this to each other.
Stop telling the human race not to 'feel'. Stop denying us our human experience, depth, richness and the only means through which we can work with the desensitisation of our species. The only means through which we can metabolise, make sense of, differentiate, accompany and integrate our grief, loss and trauma. The only navigation system to inform us about our longings. The only true, resilient and regulated ground upon which we can be of service to others of our species and all life.
We are a mammal, to honour our instincts is to embrace and arrive into our physicality which in turn informs our spirituality and an embodiment of the contract we made with ourselves for this incarnation. The sacred container within which we 'get the job done'.
The outcome of these words being applied to our majestic and revelatory inner experience is that violence at our hands becomes inevitable. We can no longer contain the urgency and immediacy of pain in our inner experience and so we enter into fight with the world around us or flight and disappear ourselves in any way possible.
If someone is in emotional pain, their nervous system is unbearable with the holding of it. If someone tells you that the tracks of trauma live in their body since childhood that make adult life agony at times, then, just be there, warmly, alongside. Your beautiful presence and regulated nervous system will support theirs as they attempt to incorporate the shit start they had in life, the shit cards they have been dealt. Know, that in that warm moment you are supporting the arrival of a beautiful soul into the truth of what it is to be human in these times. Sometimes, this precious act of yours may support agency in them. Just offer them your spaciousness and warmth, without gripping to any outcome for either of you but just the gift of a 'shared reality' moment that is the medicine we are all hungering for.
Artwork and words of wisdom, just beautiful work by Tara Shannon https://www.tarashannonwrites.com/ (read by Clare)
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