As I prepare the vegetables for my soup, soft warming music in the background, the song of the birds outside my door (just about audible within the sound of the traffic) a peace descends into my body.
This is a surprise to me. That somehow in this present moment, within my life's web of so many shattered dreams and aching losses, there can be moments like this. My body, my somatic experience, can be a fierce invitation towards presence! And so I write these words today, to make the practice of presence visible for others by way of accompaniment and support. (whilst nipping back and forth between the soup making and my computer)
As an Introverted Intuitive (INFJ) I possess refined skills of making sense of patterns and offer sense making for others through this and through my empathic capacity. This skill has an 'other worldly' aspect to it that does not relate to the making of soup, the undertaking of practical tasks, and it even feels like my body is deeply resistant to it.
My innate way of being is to be still and live within this deep pool of inner resources gifted to me at birth. Like breathing. It's how I breathe. If only I could stay in this place - but being a mammal and living in this current culture means I need to become ambidextrous. And so what is this gift of entering into my 5 senses?
My natural way of 'feeling' into them is to enter into them from/via my intuitive realm (so the music and some candles help to create a sacred space for me to live within), and on arriving I enter the truth of my somatic experience which takes great courage, patience and compassion given my familial lineage and cultural heritage. I realise that to support my need for beauty in different forms; music, candle light, order in my environment and warmth in whatever ways possible, support the invitation I create for myself to be here today, as fully as possible.
I so want to be here in this life I am gifted as fully as possible. A kind of pissed off response, "well if I'm given another day I'm going to bloody well live it if nobody minds!" The old expression in my Irish heritage "f--k the begrudgers" helps me to describe this rebelliousness/resilience in me (those who know me will know what this phrase means to me!)
This innate way of living, through my 6th sense, and also longing for the richness of experience and grounded peace available through an integration within my 5 senses (the fullness of what it is to be a human mammal) intrigues me and will be an exploration and enigma for me, always.
With love on this path of being human.