You can't pick and choose
Now I know what this path of compassion has brought me, it has softened me into life, I can receive life! The softening path of compassion and bodily felt forgiveness. Moving from the mode of picking experiences which I imagine might 'feel' good, and hoping the other aspects won't visit; to laying the fight, resistance and effort down. I just want to be, fully, and breathe in and out with the waves of truth of what it is to be human. Life chooses me.
The gift of this way of living, to me, is that at last it has opened up in me the possibility and sensitivity to experience the life of trees and all living creatures and I am certain that this is why we are on earth, is our original birth right, but sadly the path of growing up in our culture means for most of us this innate innocence and homeostasis is beyond our reach and must be re-learnt and re-membered in adult life.
For me, it's the ultimate arrival home, the ultimate belonging, where mellowness fills my veins and I am all harmony with life in the moment. This from a girl who was repeatedly traumatised by witnessing violence. So, here is a video I made a while ago to describe how I experience this daily. I celebrate my courage and celebrate that it brings me to you in this way, perhaps by way of hope that within the full spectrum of living, beauty reveals itself.
And even now, as I write about it, indoors and exhausted today (had two coffees in a cafe yesterday, lost the run of meself what with the lifting of lockdown!), my body relaxes with the memory of it - once the connection is arrived at, it lives on and carries these old bones.