We can wait for life events to do it for us, but/and if you have a sense of wanting to burst forth into your life, you can break open the door of your own heart, your own longings and your own calling through the act of choice. I imagine that life is a mixture of both for most of us, by being arrested and broken open by an unexpected rupture and also those times when we instinctively know a change is needed in order to respond to the force of our life energy (aka our essence, our individuality, our calling, our passion, our creativity).
I am living in Hereford at present, and as I sit at the window there is an unpleasant smell. It is the daily clearing out of the local chicken farms. Not free range. I could also write about the beautiful fragrant roses filled with bees at my window, but I choose to be present to the suffering of those other be-ings at present. Something in me can't actually bear it, contain the suffering in my consciousness. I can't believe that raising produce in this way is in any way still possible and I mention it as an example of the disgrace we still are as a human race in some of the strategies we employ to meet our needs, how little progress has been made in terms of the light of compassion and sensitivity to all life, and how much work there is to be done. No rest for the wicked. This smell will be a strong reminder to me of the importance of my work, for as long as these practices continue there will be the need to re-sensitise humans. This reflection of mine in this moment is a small example of tragic events occurring at this time in our evolution.
I sit here with you softened into grief, clinging to the small part I play in cultivating a new consciousness of interconnection of all beings, and yet I will continue. Through the portal of my own held suffering and losses that humble me to the ground and break me open daily, that leave me at times hanging onto a thread of hope and a small glimpse of the magnificence that can grow when we see ourselves as interconnected. This is my path, the path of feeling and sensing and listening and if you would like to join me in my work it is the pathway I can accompany you on too.
I am not who I was before lockdown, are you? ...and neither is the tone of my work. So I am here, re-forming my offers and look forward to sharing them with you.
Walk with me into the skill of brokenheartedness so that violence no longer becomes possible. The only sustainable cure for suffering is the willingness of human beings to approach the threshold of their own reactivity, to divine the precious life held within it and to use this alchemy to heal. For those of you who know something of my background, this is the skill my father did not possess and the suffering through his reactivity was severe and immense and I live with it's legacy in my nervous system. Even pressing 'send' on this offering heightens my nervous system and fills it with fear. And still I want to answer my call. May my own commitment to the healing force of self empathy and compassion be a beacon for others into the glorious diamond waiting to shine on earth through us all. The earth is waiting for us now.