COMPASSION AT WORK
FOUR PHASES OF THE PROGRAMME
OVERVIEW
GET READY
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Pre-course diagnostic meeting with me - what are you longing to cultivate where your work and hear about what I am offering and where the twain shall meet.
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Pre-course reading: I recommend these two books so support a knowledge base for the work we will undertake. Marshall Rosenberg's book is also available as an audio book on youtube, ya can listen to it in the car!:
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Coffee and Compassion - free introductory morning where I come to meet you all, and begin the trust process with me. This is my offering so that you can check if you would like to invest your time and resources in this work
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Time commitment is 4 1/2 days spanning over four months
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Those who join do so through free choice and out of curiosity and as much wholehearted willingness as possible.
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This work is 'counter culture', inviting us to soften our reactivity and live wholeheartedly through vulnerability. It is not about conflict resolution, not a platform for mediation of current troubles. This is an offering, that with time and commitment will create an ecology where everyone's needs matter and through that alchemy everyone feels free to innovate, contribute and risk to bring the best results for any group project.
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The HOW of it: I bring this work through group workshops using practical exercises, discussion groups, sharings, and time for contemplation. Oh I hope you will call me in to bring the ways and means towards wholehearted living so that you can be authentic, wherever you find yourself and bring what it is you want to contribute to your work. This is 'embodied' work and the most resilient people are connected to their body (ref. Brene Brown/Viktor Frankl)
Brave Work,
Tough Conversations,
Whole Hearts
Behind every action however ineffective, tragic, violent or abhorrent to us is an attempt to meet a need.
PHASE 1
A Declaration Of Interdependence
Workplace Relationships - Visioning Board - Where are we going from - to?
Exploring the origins of blame and meeting it's antidote
The Language and Consciousness of Compassion
Down-regulating defensiveness (what is 'reactivity')
There's no such thing as 'negative emotions' or 'unwanted thoughts'
Understanding the purpose of needs (aka longings values)
The role of needs in relationship
What is trust
Cultivating trust through vulnerability
PHASE 2
The Power Of Empathy
Empathic medicine - the prescription details (the most powerful connecting and trust building tool we have)
What empathy isn't - the intrusion that 'helping' can be
Don't just 'do' something, be there - the role of fixing/sorting/analysing/
Self - Response - Ability through the portal of empathy
Nobody can 'make' you feel anything
Intention in Connection
PHASE 3
Honesty Without Harm
From
Giving a Piece Of Your Mind to Speaking A Piece Of Your Heart
"Never believe what someone else thinks about you" Marshall Rosenberg
The skill of making requests to make life wonderful for all
Self Worth - You Matter
Authenticity Transparency and Showing Up
Feeling relaxed in relationship
PHASE 4
Maintaining A Compassionate Ecology
Understanding Choice
What gets in the way of imagining we have choice
Powerful Boundaries
Flattening The Power Structure
Maintaining a compassionate ecology - revisiting the vision board
Resilience Through Self Generated Compassion
FROM
THE ADVERSARIAL CYCLE
'Making Sense' of things through judging others
Blaming others and fault finding
Self Criticism
Responding through reactivity
Defensiveness
Fighting for our needs from a place of scarcity
Hustling for power over each other
Strategies through compromise
Shame and shaming
Honesty motivated by shame anger or fear
Experiencing pain by how others treat us
Discharging Emotions
Mistrust, doubt and uncertainty
Managing ‘unwanted’ behaviours
Get over it/let it go
Organisational Hierarchy
'Hooked’ by certain behaviours
People pleasing and diminishing ourselves in order to belong and stay 'safe'
Vulnerability as weakness
TO
THE TRUST CYCLE
'Making Sense' of things through empathic connection with self and others
Self response-ability and generous assumptions of others
Self acceptance through empathic resonance
Responding through choice, personal power, authenticity and transparency
Self responsibility and authenticity. Allowing ourselves to be impacted by life
Creatively discovering strategies where everybody's needs matter
Power with each other
Strategies through needs based dialogue
Supporting Self worth and worthiness through the skill of empathy
Honesty motivated by authenticity, transparency and connection
Understanding and respecting our vulnerability and teaching others how we would like to be treated
Fully sensing emotions as a pathway to self understanding and growth of connection and belonging
Growing trust through reciprocal vulnerability over time
Modelling and cultivating ways of being in alignment with your values
Respect for the truth of everyone’s experience. Self kindness and kindness to others
Flattening the hierarchy through interdependence and collaboration
Knowing when we are ‘hooked’ and having choice in how we respond
Cultivating mutual respect through boundary setting. Belonging through self acceptance and self worth
Vulnerability as the portal for trust belonging, creativity and connection