Purple Buds

Honesty Without Harm

Sunday 26th January 2020


How is it that we equate honesty with the potential for harm? What stops us from expressing ourselves authentically? What harm do we fear we will cause? If we speak up, what do we fear the outcome will be? What needs are we valuing in these moments? 

I learnt through my own childhood history that speaking up could bring all the cards tumbling down on me in a very violent way.  I learnt to freeze, to be silent. This is a natural response to an absence of nurturing and safety among our caregivers.  It was a learnt strategy to keep myself safe, to maintain my belonging and survival.     The process of self-compassion in NVC has created more choice for me in my adult life in the places where I long to be see and heard. It has helped me to speak through my vulnerability (what I need, what I am longing for) and has helped me to notice the aspects of language that contain blame and fault finding.  The modeling of compassionate embrace and holding was absent for me growing up, can I now do this for myself through self-compassion? I want to end the demand for life and others to meet me in prescribed ways and commence the act of resonance with myself.

Through relational direct experience we will explore authenticity and transparency both in acknowledging and naming our truth in the present moment and in practicing scenarios where we long to speak to what matters to us with those we love. We will explore the need for connection, connection with ourselves and our innate longing to connect with those around us. 


As long as we continue our cultural norm of blaming and judging others and making them responsible for how we feel, compassionate connection will be impossible.  It is through our capacity to bring the soft underbelly of our humanity to others that connection is cultivated. 


NVC gives us the tools to mourn the impact we may have on others by acknowledging the pain we may have stimulated. Maintaining connection through empathic understanding. The potential for lasting forgiveness. It helps us to find ways to let others know what pain we may experience in relation to something they have said or done.  It does not hold the other person to ransom for their actions, only content when they have said sorry and submitted to our admonishment.  Let's put an end to blame and punishment and instead enter into larger areas of knowing and being through the portal of compassion.

Booking and Details:

Time: 9.30am to 5.00pm

Date: Sunday 26th of January 2020

Venue: St Luke's Therapy Centre Stroud Gloucestershire

Workshop Price: £75 (deposit/non-refundable £20 payable at point of booking)

Prior Learning/Experience: An understanding of Nonviolent Communication is a prerequisite for my workshops.  This can be through having read Marshall Rosenberg's Book 'Nonviolent Communication, A Language Of Life', the audio book is available on youtube, or having attended a foundation training in NVC.

Refreshments: Tea & Coffee / Soup and Bread Lunch provided (please bring and share some food if you would like to contribute other things for our meal together)

What to bring: Indoor shoes, favourite treats, blanket, and anything which supports your need for comfort.