COUPLES COMMUNICATION
BUILDING THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE LONGING FOR ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME

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Perhaps there's no greater gift than to wake to the day with a soft sense of sadness in our bodies, bending gracefully to the truth. Perhaps it's softening power helps us to flex into the day and allow life to weave through us, to lay the fight down and enter into warmth of connectedness?

Clare

FINDING OUT WHAT MATTERS TO ONE ANOTHER  

Is there a conversation you are longing to have with your partner?  Words you are longing to express but wonder how to say things in a way that builds connection? Do you hold back self expression so as not to 'upset' or 'cause pain'?

I lead the way to empathic listening and receiving through offering the skills of self-compassion and compassionate communication.  To make it possible to hear ourselves and others beyond judging and blaming and enter into pure curiosity about what is alive for one another.

During compassionate dialogue, the muscle of self-compassion is in constant use.  My sense is that in order to create the room for another inside ourselves, the practice of self-compassion is paramount. Therefore  I recommend meeting with me individually in the first instance for a one to one session.  By having one to one support with me, an understanding of what you are longing for can be unpacked and 'spaciousness for the other' can be cultivated.

THE SKILLS THAT ARE CULTIVATED

  • Regulating your nervous system – noticing when it is in ‘fight/flight’ and bringing compassion to your experience:

    • Noticing it

    • Befriending it

    • Accompanying it

    • Bringing warm curiosity to it

    • Dialogue with it ‘what do I need in this moment’

  • Making space inside your experience to hear the other

  • Regulating your own nervous system whilst in dialogue with someone else

  • Learning the skill of having an experience whilst simultaneously ‘holding the experience’

  • Language that supports life/language that disconnects

  • Understanding the purpose of dialogue with another as a way of hearing what you both need/want without entering into strategies – just hearing and receiving

  • Through understanding what you need, exploring strategies together to make life wonderful for one another

HOW THE SESSION WORKS

As coach I approach the session without agenda or anywhere to 'get to'.   I work in the present moment creating spaciousness for whatever rises and is longing to be expressed and shared.  I support a flow of listening and responding between the couple to take place. 

 

When there is pain in us and in relationship I believe it rises to call us back to an embodied presence in order to establish inner safety and an exploration of what we need.  So, I support the direction of dialogue to ultimately be an enquiry about what the needs are and once these are uncovered an exploration of the strategies to meet them can take place in a way where everyone's needs matter.  So it's not going over old ground, but acknowledging the path that has been taken and entering into a present moment aliveness and agency.  Those I work with bring whatever is alive for them, whatever is uppermost that is calling for air and spaciousness.

I am also an MBTI Practitioner, this is a tool that helps us to understand the innate ways we like to get our energy and take in information and make decisions in life.  I find that knowing this can bring an 'aha' aspect to why certain things frustrate and hurt us and also supports us to let go of wanting the other person to change or be different.

If you have any questions about this coaching service, please feel free to get in touch with me for a 30 minute free taster session or just to chat with me over email to find our more.

Terms Of Service

Cost of 1 hr Couples Coaching Session is £65.00 (received prior to the session)

Cancellation up to 24hrs prior to the session a full refund will be made

Cancellation less than 24hrs prior to the session no refund will be made

The session will begin and end at the time agreed

 

Thanks for your understanding and I hope these terms serve as a protection and respecting of everyone's time and resources.