Cultivating Compassion In Relationship

Here are some resources which may support you with the process of self-compassion to prepare an inner ground of spaciousness on entering a dialogue with your partner.

I offer this video for those moments when you are in pain, to support you to hold what's alive in the present moment and to become curious about what you might be needing at this time.

Self-Compassion At The Point Of Inner Activation
Creating Room In Me For The Other

At the point of inner activation, when pain rises in response to life, perhaps arising from how someone responds to us , there can be a sense of urgency to be  heard and seen by another human.  This sense of urgency affects our capacity to hold ourselves and to hold the other.  My work offerings will always be about building an inner capacity to hold ourselves for all the ways we longed and still long to be met in the world  whilst at the same time creating room in ourselves to hear the other.  In my study of Nonviolent Communication I met the language that supports life and connection.  However, words will only do that if the healing warmth of self-compassion is at work inside us.  The path to self-compassion is understanding and befriending this inner activation and hearing the longings that are calling us through it. In my experience when I connect to my needs/longings my body is flooded with the softening power of tears and this creates room in me for all life. Here are some resources to support you with the growth of self-compassion, and I will be updating this page with more support tools as I listen to what's needed to support life.

Self-Compassion At The Point Of Inner Activation
Creating Room In Me For The Other

This is a process I practice thousands of times a day as I learn to regulate my nervous system through the power of compassionate resonance

Self Empathy Process (1).jpg


Couples Compassionate Check In

Holding the skill of self-compassion regulates our nervous system and supports us to hear what is alive for the other. If you are longing to create warm connection with your partner, perhaps this Couples Compassionate Check In is something you would like to try? We are not responsible for how someone else feels, or for 'fixing' it, though we may have said or done something that activated their pain.  Relationship is entering a dialogue where growth and change becomes possible, and where we can let the other know how we like to be treated.  This needs to be done without pressure or demand, but from a place of request and a sense that ultimately we are the only ones who can tend fully to our inner life and longings.  In relationship, love asks 'What can I do to make your life wonderful'.    

(You may like to have your needs list handy (see handout below)

Add a subheading (1).jpg
FEELINGS (3).jpg
FEELINGS (2).jpg